How to Be Patient With Yourself (Even When You're Tired of Trying)
Because healing isn’t Prime shipping, and that’s okay.
Let’s start with the truth: being patient with yourself sounds simple, but wow—is it hard in practice. Especially when you’re knee-deep in your own healing journey, comparing yourself to every highlight reel on Instagram, and wondering why your emotional growth doesn’t come with a progress bar.
In this season of life, my art practice has been where I’m learning (and re-learning) patience the most. I’ll sit down with my iPad and expect to crank out a masterpiece in 15 minutes—then spiral when it doesn’t look like a fast-forwarded art tutorial. Sound familiar?
Whether it’s in creativity, food habits, weight loss, career, or mental health itself—we’re often too quick to rush our healing and way too slow to offer ourselves the same grace we’d give literally anyone else.
So let’s talk about it: why self-patience is hard, what gets in our way, and what we can actually do to be a little gentler with ourselves.
Why Are We So Impatient With Ourselves?
1. We Live in a Fast-Fix Culture
From 21-Day Fix programs to “clean girl aesthetic” glow-ups, we are trained to believe that transformation should be instant. But mental health isn’t Prime shipping. It’s not even 2-day delivery. It’s slow, nonlinear, and sometimes frustratingly quiet.
2. Toxic Productivity + Perfectionism
Our culture rewards doing. Hustling. Producing. Even healing becomes a performance—we try to “achieve” at self-care like it's another goal on the to-do list. Been there. Still working on it.
3. Social Media Comparison Spiral
Let’s be honest: watching everyone’s curated wins while you’re feeling stuck is brutal. But most of what we see online is a highlight reel—not the messy, beautiful in-between moments we’re actually living through.
Teach the algorithm what you want to see. Mute. Unfollow. Reclaim your peace.
4. Unrealistic Expectations from the Past
How often have you said, “I should be over this by now”? Our healing timelines aren’t one-size-fits-all. Some hurts go deep. And growth doesn’t always mean moving forward—it can also mean simply not moving backwards.
10 Gentle Tools to Help You Be More Patient With Yourself
This isn’t a prescription. Just ideas. Pick one, try it, remix it, make it your own.
1. Set a “Compassion Timer”
Put 5 minutes on your calendar just to be kind to yourself. Breathe. Stretch. Sip tea. Repeat.
2. Visualize a Brick Wall
Every act of care is a brick. Some days you lay ten. Other days you just hold the blueprint. Rest counts, too.
3. Write a “Progress Résumé”
List what you’ve survived, learned, and handled better. Small wins matter—“I drank water today” belongs on the list.
4. Practice Micro-Expectations
“I’ll move my body for 5 minutes.”
“I’ll text one friend.”
“I’ll breathe deeply three times.”
Lowering the bar? No—modifying it to meet you where you are.
5. Make a “Slow & Gentle” Playlist
Sound influences speed. Make a playlist that feels like a soft blanket for your brain. (Bonus: weighted blankets are also great.)
6. Mirror Talk Ritual
Look yourself in the eyes. Say:
“You’re doing your best.”
“We are not rushing this.”
“I love you, even when it’s messy.”
It’ll feel weird. Do it anyway.
7. Track Feelings, Not Just Habits
Ask: “Did I feel more grounded after that walk?” or “What gave me energy today?” You’re building emotional data. And data helps.
8. Break Down Healing Goals into Micro-Tasks
Instead of “work on anxiety,” try:
Research 1 grounding technique
Do 1 breathing exercise
Say no to 1 overwhelming thing
(You can even ask ChatGPT to help you break it down more!)
9. Designate a Self-Talk Check-In Buddy
Whether it’s a friend, a therapist, or an AI bestie—you’re allowed to ask for help reframing your thoughts.
10. Create a Patience Affirmation Jar
Print little reminders like “You’re still growing” or “This will feel lighter someday.” Draw one when you need a boost.
[Get your free printable here → www.therapythriftshop.org/episode14]
Real Talk: It’s Not Always Zen
Patience doesn’t mean you’re chill all the time. Sometimes you’ll be over it. That’s human.
Healing is sometimes boring, annoying, or flat-out exhausting. But it’s still worth it.
Also: self-compassion doesn’t mean no accountability. You can be firm and kind. You can make goals smaller, stick with them, and build momentum slowly.
Most importantly: your journey is yours. I don’t know your exact story. But I know this—you’re not behind. You’re becoming.
Final Reflection 🪞
Ask yourself:
Where in your life do you need to give yourself more time or grace right now?
If this resonated, send it to a friend—or to yourself next time your inner critic gets loud. You’re doing better than you think.
Until next time, take what you like, leave the rest, and stay gentle with yourself.
With love,
Wini
